UHT

do you see me from atop
those clouds i only can imagine?
no. such thoughts must stop,
like i must stop and turn away
from all i loved.
for all i cried is as nothing
in the mirrors of a moving car
a moving
moving car
whose motion carries it and me
to a new horizon
away from thee.

you might have understood
but only
one fleeting glimpse of
cracking skin and
cracking up
is nothing in my rear view mirror,
such thoughts must stop.

we could have been eight against
but it was only last year
we ate that ice cream
from that shop
i reverse-parked your hyundai getz
because heaven knows
how you passed the test.

i passed the test and failed another.

there's only one place to crack up:
the cafe in asda-wal*mart
a window overlooks a plaza overlooks
ephemeral grass and plastic flowers
and the spikes on the B of the Bang
are falling off
so i couldn't turn left earlier.

the coffee's 97p
just like 1001 other things.
the margin which keeps 97p
from 99p
is the gap between you and me.

it couldn't be further
yet the fault-line grows
and i can't see you
can't see you
can't see you
such thoughts must stop.

who'd have thought that northern dream
of mine would be in floods of tears
which burn my every organ;
acid rain
from urban paradise
or burning postindustrial ridges
in my postmodern skin
but my bleached white sexuality
runs thick with clotted blood today
the clotting will not god away.

the stains cannot be bleached again
since i'm a delicate material
sexuality is ethereal
and
full of monsters,
monsters, ghosts and skeletons
and blood
and blood
and swelling of another kind
that never will be understood.

this milk it must be UHT
because it tastes like PPP

such thoughts must stop.

goodbye then love
you served me well, in your interest
and this is how you left me.